Bruce Schneier

[ in the Chuck Norris Facts vein ]

Bruce Schneier's online purchases are so secure, his shopping cart is an M-1 tank.

The only fully secure symmetric cryptosystem is Bruce Schneier looking in a mirror.

There is no secure e-commerce - only stuff Bruce Schneier doesn't want.

and the best one:
When Curtis Cooper and Steven Boone discovered the 44th Mersenne prime, Bruce Schneier had to change the combination on his luggage.