Bruce Schneier

[ in the Chuck Norris Facts vein ]

Bruce Schneier's online purchases are so secure, his shopping cart is an M-1 tank.

The only fully secure symmetric cryptosystem is Bruce Schneier looking in a mirror.

There is no secure e-commerce - only stuff Bruce Schneier doesn't want.

and the best one:
When Curtis Cooper and Steven Boone discovered the 44th Mersenne prime, Bruce Schneier had to change the combination on his luggage.

Lost car

Luckily if this happens here in South Africa you'd be spared this embarrassment, because your car would really have been stolen.

Australian bars are the best

[ thanks Reuters - Australian Ausphalian bars rock ]

CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said Wednesday.

Police in Western Australia said the 31-year old barmaid pleaded guilty in the local magistrate's court to twice exposing her breasts to patrons at the Premier Hotel in Pinjarra, south of the state capital, Perth.

The woman "is alleged to have also crushed beer cans between her breasts during one of the offences," in breach of hotel licensing laws, police from the Peel district of Western Australia said in a statement.

The barmaid and the hotel manager were both fined A$1,000 ($900), while an off-duty barmaid was fined A$500 for helping to hang spoons from the woman's nipples, police said.

"It sends a clear message to all licensees in Peel that we will not tolerate this type of behavior in our licensed premises," local police superintendent David Parkinson said.